The fragility of life.

Yesterday I drove home from my sisters. It was a 4 hour drive. When I got an hour away from home my swift travel came to an abrupt end. Thee had been a huge accident. When I say huge I mean 4 fire trucks, about 5 ambulances, 2 unmarked cop cars, countless marked cop cars and the dreaded air ambulance.  Dear god. The debris was awful and culprits, two cars and a lorry. One car was reduced to half it’s original size. Crumpled like foil. A sheet lay over the car. I hoped there wasn’t a body underneath that sheet. I caught the glance of a copper taking evidence pictures. We both exchanged the same look and he looked at me like he was able to read my mind, read the fear in my eyes. “Oh my god!”. As I sat in my line of traffic I thought about the poor people involved and then it struck me. Someone in A&E is going to have to out this person back together. A team of neurologists and clinical psychologists are going to have to assess this persons ability to react to external stimuli. That’s if he’s unconscious or in an induced coma. I suddenly thought that could be me one day. As I disassociated about that little hospital scene I was brought back to the here and now by the lights of the servic vehicles. I wonder how many clinicians think about the trauma at the scene. Because as one person comes in, they come in as an individual. Yes they have background information but surely that can’t add up to the real life scene that I saw. I never want to see trauma like that again. The look on [the victims] their faces as they spoke with police was awful. 

Suddenly life becomes meaningful in a different light. I am reminded of the fragility of life. It only takes a second and the rug can be pulled from underneath you and you won’t know what the hell hit you. 

As a keen scientist I am a believer of fact and evidence. But I prayed for these poor folk. Life is so precious and I hope they make it through. 

On being inspired

So I spent my afternoon crying. I cried like a baby and I couldn’t stop. Why was I crying? I was watching extreme makeover home edition. For those unfamiliar with it, it’s like an American DIY SOS the big build. They rebuild people’s homes who are really struggling and those people who really deserve a break in life. 

The episode which made me blub was the one with the slaughter family. A family whose father did a lot of work with the church and helped people from all walks of life. It all started when Ty encapsulated my dream in life: to give hope means to give a future. And just like Mr Slaughter, he deserved a bit of hope and a future for his own growing family. I was really grateful for the work that Mr Slaughter did even though it never had an impact on my life, I could see the work he did was inspirational and priceless, actually. 

Ty and his team did a tremendous job and the family where completely overwhelmed by the love they recieved back. During this transformation he recieved messages from people whom he’d worked with in the past- recovering addicts who were completely grateful for the work he did with them and the way he impacted upon their life. 

Commence blubbering! If I could impact on someone like Mr Slaughter does daily- I’d be a happy mental health worker! 

The gratitude and thanks he recieved for his work was really touching and empowering. It really drilled it home that the path I have chosen is the right one because what he said at the end was amazing: 

Everybody come with different circumstances. It’s ok to make mistakes. We all make mistakes. It’s about learning how we can get you on the right path. If you don’t know how to do that, find someone who can show you how to do it. Then you become the teacher- show someone else. And maybe we can make the world a nicer place. 

This had me blubbering. This is entirely what I believe, but some already synical professionals in the field believe it’s not possible. I already disagreed. I disagree because we never really see or hear the thoughts of those leaving our services. We never hear the opinions of those we help. Service evaluations only go so far but wouldn’t it be nice to hear about some of the influential people in our lives who helped us through difficult times. 

I think we have a fantastic system where we can access help for our mental health and mistakes in life. Sure it has it’s downfalls and it always seems to let people down when they need it most- but I’m sure there are some celebration stories too. 

This is post is about the nice people in the world, the people who give when they don’t have to, the people who do their best for people who are falling and help them find a path which can help them move forward in their lives. If I could give an ounce of what Mr Slaughter has then I’d be over the moon. Even when I am trying to help people find their better paths, I find myself being caught by Mr Slaughter. I only wish he could know just how much it got me today, and how much I was touched by the hardwork he puts in. Truly unbelievable!!  

So if you have a person in mind who’s deserving of some appreciation and thanks- sing their names below in a comment and let’s get some positivity growing! I’d love to hear about it! 

I’ll start: Thank you Mr Slaughter, for helping people right the way over the pond! Thank you! 

Mastery- race for life

I have challenged myself to a 5k run to fundraise for cancer research UK. If anyone would like to click on my just giving page and sponsor me I would be eternally grateful! Cancer affects us all in many ways and I have been lucky enough to keep all those affected by it. I’d like to keep it that way for other families too! 

Please sponcor me- it would mean a lot! 

Stephanie’s Race for life. I am running the Race for life in York for Cancer Research UK because I want to support those close to me….

http://www.justgiving.com/Stephanie-J

Thank you!! 

Being Bipolar. A Review. **READER WARNING**

Last night channel 4 aired a programme aimed at spreading awareness and thus a little compassion among the British community about Bipolar and its condition and the effect it has on people living with it.

I tried to make notes as it went a long but in all honesty, so many interesting points and thought provoking moments, it was important. I also tried to follow the hashtag on twitter and it was so hard! There were many points by people living with bipolar which were valid. Plenty of criticism, and plenty of gratitude for the opportunity to learn by those who knew very little. I did pick up on a few tweets criticising the scenes in the opening sequence (a young man rocking in a seat- listening to and producing music I might add!). A few tweets had picked up on “a man looking crazy but he’s actually just listening to music-great start!”. I have a respectfully disagree- I saw a young man listening to his music- nothing crazy about that! We have to be careful that we don’t label even when we are defensive and don’t mean to label. Until I read that tweet, “crazy” hadn’t even entered my mind.

One point I did pick up on was the attention to medication. Whilst I would prefer a world where ailments and diseases were treated holistically and talking therapy was widely available, I do recognise that there is nothing wrong with needing medication to maintain a life worth living (Note my DBT link there). It is important to see that people are on medication because help and support is always available and is often a stopgap in between diagnosis and serious negative life events such as suicide attempts. Unfortunately, that’s the case- we can’t offer support to someone unless there are a huge danger to themselves or others. It would be nice to offer support right the way through someone’s journey. I am of the opinion that medication is a lifeline to some people and also lends some validation to the fact that these diseases do have a biological footprint, which leads to my next thought.

there was lots of focus on bipolar and other similar diagnosis’ being a medical and therefore individual issue, or a social issue drawing on experience and trauma.

Again its the classic Nature Vs Nurture debate!

I did think this could of been triggering though, especially for people living with bipolar who do not seem to have any links with traumatic childhoods, how do you explain a case of bipolar in a family which seems to be loving and caring with no or little evidence of adverse parenting styles? Equally, how do we explain those families and instances where there may be some sort of trauma and only one child seems to present as having bipolar tendencies?  I have add my own personal link to a case here…I happen to know of someone who had a diagnosis of bipolar, whose behaviour has been beyond rescue-able at times. This person’s accusations during manic episodes have caused their family to split, there is autistic tendencies in a brother, and the youngest sibling has strong tendencies to control and appears to be a worrier where bugs and infection are concerned. Looking at family dynamics, apart from their individual struggles, there appears to be no trauma directly towards the children, but there has been history of domestic violence when this individual was a tiny baby, and has spent almost all of their life without this destructive individual. Would this be enough to influence such a disease as Bipolar disorder? And why did symptoms not show themselves until this individual were studying to qualify as a teacher? Was it stress? Was it late teenage hormonal imbalances? As an observer and by no means am I an expert- it would come as no surprise that I do not know the answer to this conundrum. But Being Bipolar did trigger this line of thought. It is also interesting that one of the featured individuals in the programme, had branched out to consider psychotherapy to talk about her childhood. From her reaction to her initial meeting, this was a start to her recovery towards functioning without the symptoms and signs of Bipolar disorder. Ultimately I was pleased for her that this avenue was a positive one (albeit I can assume it wont be an easy one either). But this isn’t a possibility for everyone and most people have to carry on regardless, muddling through life coping and taking their medication the best they can.

This programme did acknowledge the role of genes and the millions of pounds of research in twin studies and all sorts which suggests that there are also genetic predispositions for such diseases. It was (if you were able to) a nice programme which demonstrated the various contributing factors to mental health and cast a net in terms of the general public  sympathising with just how difficult life is for some people and all the different things which impact upon us. It did appear as thought some people had gotten carried away and unable to see some aspects of the programme weren’t gospel. I didn’t feel able to play devil’s advocate as it was thought provoking enough.

I did wonder about  personality as a whole. We all have personality traits along the spectrum some where. There was an individual on the programme who had a successful history of athletics. The psychology of winning and losing largely mirrored the cycle of his type 2 bipolar disorder. when he was in a manic episode he was the best of the best, visited by the pope, and residing in a large stately home (actually his hospital), similarly winning in his sport had brought him lots of attention, medals and portraits which his mother proudly displayed on the walls. I can only imagine the attention from winning would have brought him lost of feel good factors, similar to those grandiose feelings when manic. From this it is possible to see how lifestyles and choices may not help with feelings and emotions. I am not bold enough to suggest that this sort of history is enough to erect a full blown mental health diagnosis such as that, but he certainly had some confidence in it.

All in all, this programme has attempted to shed some light on the effects of Bipolar and normalise some of the symptoms by talking about some of the pressures felt in life. I tried to see the argument from both sides, but I found it easy to see why people would be upset by some of the claims and arguments- perhaps with little thought about the language and the compassion available in the language use.

I ought to make it clear that these are my personal views and are no means influenced by any professional work . They are merely thoughts which have noticed mindfully and I hope I have portrayed them sensitively and thoughtfully. It was evident that some people did not agree with the way it tackled some subjects and felt it was still stigmatising towards mental health. If you wish to see the programme you can see it here

I’d welcome your thoughts on it.

Children’s mental health week

This week is the UK’s first children’s mental health week. Statistics suggest 1 in 4 people have mental health issues of some sort.

According to the Mental Health Foundation:

One in ten children between the ages of one and 15 has a mental health disorder. (The Office for National Statistics Mental health in children and young people in Great Britain, 2005)

1 in 10- that’s 3 children in your average class. That’s 3 too many.
It’s not hard to see where these might creep from and they don’t go away- they creep into adolescence and then adulthood. It isn’t a passing phase.

Some might say kids have it easy these days. I’m sure they do in some respects. Their risk of disease and illness and significantly reduced even compared to their 20th century counterparts. They are spared the back breaking roles in the workplace these days and no longer have that horrid fate hanging over their heads. To a certain extent we have improved our food and fluid consumption, and I think we’d like to say that our kids now have a better diet. They go to school and have more opportunities available to them. They have been lucky enough to escape the uncertainty and turmoil of war zone living, bombs, ruined cities, rationed food, deceased family members, shelled homes, frightening sounds of that dreaded air raid horn. My grandparents have said previously; you kids you don’t know your born!

But these days, with all the mod cons of modern living, there come pressures that my grandparents never had to face either. They can be hard on different levels and if we invalidate our children by saying; oh you don’t know your born, welcome to the working world, how do you think we feel, you’ve got nothing to complain about
Then it’s no wonder they feel rubbish. We missed the first hurdle already:

It doesn’t matter that those feelings belong to a child, they belong to someone

These days, with statistics like 1 in 4 our kids are more open to things They shouldn’t see.

According to the Governments stats, shared by the mirror;

They show there were 17,278 admissions at A&E involving patients aged 18 and under with a diagnosis of “psychiatric conditions” in 2013/14 – an 85.2% increase from 9,328 in 2010/11.

Of the 17,278 young patients, only 5,367 were admitted to a hospital bed within the same trust or provider. Others had to be shunted to other hospitals because of a lack of specialist mental healthcare at the hospital where they were admitted to A&E.

According to the office of national statistics;

Figures from the ONS suggest 244,000 people under 19 are carers – about 23,000 are under nine…..Girls are slightly more likely to be carers than boys. Among 15-to-19-year-olds, about 5% of girls are carers and about 4% of boys.

This undoubtedly affects their school work and many miss their classes and GCSE results are sacrificed due to their non attendance and duties to their family who need care, especially as more the likelihood of becoming a Carer significantly increases as you reach the teens as opposed to 10 year olds.

This sound like much of a childhood to you? I’m aware that life is completely different now but that in itself brings it’s own fair share of struggles, and we haven’t even touched the peer pressure struggles!

Please pass this on and let’s get child mental health awareness off the ground, after all, they are our future. If we carry on like this, future’s rubbish!!!

Calm. An app review

I tried a new app today to help me practice my mindfulness. Boy it’s good!! I had to pass it on!

It’s called calm. The purpose of it it to give you a calming, relaxing scene in order to be relaxed. It has 3 scenes already downloaded for you- my favourite is pouring rain, it reminds me of camping and finding something to do like cards from within your tent. Often I used to just sit and listen to it (and then fall asleep) or read a book.

There are 23 other scenes to choose from, most of them water related. I have to say the water ones, sound very alike. If you do mindfulness with your eyes shut I wouldn’t know the difference. My favourite extra scene is Foggy Stream. It sounds like running water as opposed to white noise and there are beautiful bird songs.

I think the beach or coastline scenes are relaxing to watch, they take you away to holiday mode without actually having the hassle or the painful price tag!

There are timed mindfulness excercises where you can do. I like 5 minutes because it gives you chance to wind down before bed for example, it’s achievable and realistic in a busy lifestyle. You can also choose your timer noise. At work we have a singing bowl and I like that noise so I chose that.

And when your done it marks it on a calendar for you:

I love this app! I found it really useful instantly. Therefore I think this app deserves ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.

It is available on iPhone and android so go on- go calm yourself!

Wellness tracker. Review of an app.

These last few days I have been trialling a free app, brought to my attention by DBAS tweet can be found here

I thought I’d give it a bash. I have often thought what is available out there for people who are not living in a therapeutic environment, who are without clinical support 24/7. What happens when you leave therapy? Is there anything to monitor and guide you though and help you keep track of your mood, signs, symptoms and feelings?

I can say the WellnessTracker seem very thorough. There’s lots to monitor. The menu is easy to navigate

Questions are typically done using a rating scale when you can rate you mood from 1 to 5 and the ratings and boundaries are explained so there is no ambiguity.

And it ticks things off as you go so there’s no confusion.

At the end of your monitoring you can request a report, or you can do this another time and ask for a broader period to look at. For example you could have weekly or monthly reports. The reports are downloaded straight to your device in PDF format and use the same headings so they are easy to follow.

Overall I thought this app was great. I thought everything was explained and user friendly and I definately thought it to be useful in-between therapy, given what I know now about DBT. I am not a therapist but I can only imagine that I would find this useful along side any other bits I might ask someone to do in-between sessions. On that note I’d be interested in any opinions!

Are you a therapist? Are you having therapy I the community? How to do see this sort of thing?

I give this app

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Simply because I don’t know how else it could be improved…if you download it let me know what you think? Can you see any room for improvement and is it helpful along side therapy or indeed on its own?

*images taken from the app and ought to be credited to the app creator and DBS Alliance.*

My silent witness

If ever I’m upset I crave time with my in house best pal, my pet, pascal the house rabbit. He is more like dog. He knows when I’m upset and providing I get on the floor he’ll come nuzzle into my face and instantly soothe.

I think everyone should have a pascal, or someone of the nature. Here’s my fave snaps:

Introduce me to you fuzzy best pals!

Glitter jars

This is such a good idea, and one that was new to me! Originally written and posted by fashionably, Gabi.

Self soothing. 2.

Self soothing is going well. I have joined Instagram and I am following several photographers, learning from them, being inspired by them. So much so that upon leaving work, instead of jumping in the car- I took time to notice the delicacy of the weather, the intricacy of the frost. I took pictures! I still enjoy looking at my own creativity to be honest. Looking at beautiful creations so much bigger and more complex than I, I find overwhelming, mystifying and intriguing.

Here are the results:

Learning to be in the moment is stunning.